You guys...

Today I had an ultrasound and a Dr. appt.

At my 20 week ultrasound they saw that my placenta was kinda hanging low. They called it "marginal previa." Um scary. So they said oh we will check it in the 3rd trimester and make sure it moved up like it is supposed to and today I had the ultrasound because I am 30 weeks now.

IT MOVED UP! YAY! 

I was convinced that I had placenta previa and that I would have to have a c-section. But I am happy to say that the placenta looks good and our little guy is getting pretty big. He is already 3lbs 7oz. Why does that seem so massive to me?? I understand that he will be much bigger when he comes out but every baby app that I have says oh the baby is almost 3lbs this week. Try 3lbs 7oz! His head is facing down and apparently he has long legs. When she measured his legs they were measuring at 33 weeks?! Maybe he will be really long. We will have to see. Overall, she said he is measuring about a week early but that could just mean he will be big. AH! 

Look at those lips. Baby, oh baby! I love you so much already. You were sleeping during the ultrasound and apparently you sleep like your Daddy, with your mouth wide open. I am getting anxious for February, when I can hold you in my arms and kiss those big beautiful lips. 

So much to be thankful for

Thanksgiving was spent in California with my family and we ate OUTSIDE! It was amazing. This Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for. Mainly a wonderful husband and a baby on the way! The list could go on for days. The night of Thanksgiving we went out shopping for black friday. I was at the mall at Midnight with all the other teenagers/crazies. I got all baby stuff. It was so much fun! We went shopping on actual black friday too. I am officially on a shopping fast for a few weeks. It was a good one and now I'm in the third trimester! AH! I'll update with pics soon but I'm feeling great and getting anxious for February. 

A letter

Dear Baby, 

We are expecting your arrival in appx. 13 weeks but I wouldn't mind if you came a little early. Not too early, but maybe like a week :) You are so incredibly active inside my tummy, and your Daddy actually asked me the other day...is this normal?? You are constantly moving and shaking. We are pretty positive we have a name for you but I'm pretty fickle these days and you never know if I might change my mind. Your Daddy is a full-time student and the other day he said something about how school and getting a job and providing for us is what constantly is on his mind. I proudly stated that baby was on my mind 24/7 because you are! Sometimes I drift off to sleep thinking about you and even dreaming about you. My favorite dream so far has been when I dreamt that me, you and your daddy were lying in bed snuggling. Daddy and I were playing with your little toes and little fingers. I dream about the day you will come into our lives and sometimes I wake up feeling anxious. I want to meet you right now! But I understand that you need to fatten up before we can meet you. 

The other night your Daddy was talking to you really close to my belly. You were being kinda shy but as soon as he started talking you were kicking and moving around like a mad man! In a way, I think I'll miss having you inside of me. We pray every night that you are growing and developing just the way you should. We love you so much, already and can't wait to meet you. 

xoxo

Lake Arrowhead + a baby blessing

We had another family fun day and this time we went up to Lake Arrowhead for the day. It was my nephew Braden's first family fun day and all day I kept thinking, what did we do before he was born?? Seriously though, why are babies so entertaining? All day we were oohhing and aaahing at the littlest things he would do. On our walk in Lake Arrowhead we had to make a little pit stop to change a diaper. I could not stop laughing at his little bum up in the air like that. On Sunday we had Braden's baby blessing and had lunch in the park. It was a fun weekend and I can't wait for Thanksgiving when we can all be together again! 

Nights like last night

Yesterday was one of those days. I woke up feeling blah. I was having all sorts of crazy negative thoughts about myself and others. Since being pregnant, these days come often. You see, I am one of those people who is very affected by hormones. I had to stop taking birth control because it was making  me act like a psycho person. I am already very emotional and when my hormones aren't in check, it can get kinda crazy over here. Anyway, yesterday was just one of those days. J was at school and work and I was moping around like a bum. As luck would have it, my husband is very intuitive. I swear the minute we wake up in the morning, he just knows. He knows to be extra sensitive towards me and he knows to just shrug off the ludicrous comments I make. I held it in all day until J got home from work. I'm sure when he got home from work he wasn't exactly looking forward to a blubbering wife who was blubbering about nothing, literally, but you would never tell that this was the case. He just let me cry and talk and talk and talk through my crying. He laid there and held me even though I knew he was exhausted and ready for bed. He rubbed my back and held my hand until I fell asleep. It was nights like last night when I go to bed thinking that I have the perfect man for me. My mom warned him before we got married (this literally happened) that I am a bit hard to handle but he picked me anyway and I'm really glad he did. I don't know what I would do without this man. I guess you could say I'm starting off the month of November feeling very grateful. 

And oh what a Daddy he will be :)

For the first time

For the first time, someone actually asked me,"When are you due?" It honestly caught me off guard because I always have to tell people I'm pregnant and for the first time someone just noticed and asked me! I was kinda like whaaaaat? I probably looked confused and I kind of paused for a really long time...umm..uhhh..oh yeah! February 15th! HA. It was quite embarrassing. It was at church and the lady probably thinks I'm losing it or something. Anyway, here is the bump..in all it's glory. This picture was taken at 24.5 weeks.

I really feel the need to document this dream I had the other night and I don't know why. I can't stop thinking about it, it was so weird and random. Apparently J and I went away for the weekend and left baby H with my mom. We came home from the little vacation and I asked my mom,"Where is the baby?" She responded with,"Oh I don't know, I've been putting him in the freezer cause he won't shut up." OMG OMG. I panicked and opened up the freezer but he wasn't in there. I went into his bedroom and there he was laying in his crib with just a diaper on and he was crying. I remember picking him up and holding him. The weird part (besides my mother putting him in the freezer??) was all the sudden I felt this immense amount of love for the little guy. I woke up feeling like I had just comforted him and held him in my arms and it was amazing! Funny how dreams can feel so real. I actually saw his little face but he didn't look like J and I..so we will see!

Halloween is coming up and J and I don't have costumes...(losers) I just don't feel like dressing up all cute and what not when I feel like a whale. Yeah, I said it. I feel like a whale. I know that's terrible thinking but some days I don't want to get dressed and I don't want to get all done up when I'm starting to feel massive. Wow, that felt good to get off my chest. I'm just being honest, and this is honestly how I feel. I wouldn't trade being pregnant for anything but no one told me about this part...the part where you kind of just feel large. The end result is what keeps me sane. I'm so excited to hold him and cuddle him everyday. It's practically all I think about these days. I think about how we are broke and about how excited I am to bring a little boy into this world. The holidays will make the time fly by and before I know it, he will be here. Some days I just wish I could tell him how much I love him and how much I think about him and about the silly dream I had or about how I freak out if I don't feel him for like 1.5 hours. (no joke) I know we will be the best of friends, my little buddy and me.

This is pretty much my journal

I use to be good at writing in my journal but one day I stopped and like any other habit, it was hard to start again. I start to feel guilty when I think about how poorly i've documented certain events in the last 3 years but it's okay because I just need to try harder! I'm at 23 weeks in my pregnancy now and things are moving along. I feel better than I did the first 17 weeks, I can tell ya that. It's weird because in the moment you feel like you are so sick you might die but looking back on it, I'm like was I really that sick? It feels like a dream and I guess it will be a re-occuring dream because of all the kiddos I want :) 

Today I was laying on the couch (shocker) and I had my hand on my stomach, which is where it is most of the time. I love feeling kicks so my hand seems to be on my belly all the time. Anyway today I was laying there with the hand on the belly and no joke, I felt a body part. Something tangible, like a foot or a hand or something came to the surface and punched/kicked my hand. I kinda freaked out a little cause little kicks are cute and all but I felt a body part!! It was different. It's hard to explain but it was like he was just saying hi. It's so weird and great and awesome at the same time. Gosh I love that little guy. 

The other day J and I were in the temple and I started crying uncontrollably and Justin must have thought I was losing it. I was sitting there thinking about the little man and how much I love him when I get intensely emotional. I can't imagine how much I am going to love him when he is in my arms and I can actually hold him. This whole parent thing is making me nervous and excited. Welp, it's Friday night and I have a date with a handsome guy who got a haircut today :)